Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just high enough for therapy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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