we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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