he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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