i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
