She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
