I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
