Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
