bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
