..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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