If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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