If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
