i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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