Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and she was petting her beer can
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
