You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
