Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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