Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
