I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
