apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
