she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
