Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
