brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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