Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
