Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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