Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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