I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize