More tranny stories later!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
