You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize