You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
