that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
