Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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