M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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