my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
