Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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