Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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