from now on my penis is your penis
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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