If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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