I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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