It's Friday. Sex?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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