The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
