mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
