I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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