some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
