Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
