He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just found a bag of teeth...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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