On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
