your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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