We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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