I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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