Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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