Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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